"Look, Adam, I didn’t laugh when it happened to you, so I’d appreciate it if you’d extend the same courtesy to me."

Looks like Maru has been watching you a little too closely.

(Source: vincent-pizza, via maruthecat)

"I’M JUST GONNA LET MYSELF OUT THE SAME WAY I CAME IN OH GOD I PROMISE NEXT TIME TO CALL FIRST."

(via catsbeaversandducks)

"Ughh…how rudimentary. I’m embarrassed for you. Really."

(via tylercoates-deactivated20130905)

"I want to leave the room, but I don’t want to risk opening my eyes and being confronted with that scene again.

Will one of you just tap me on the shoulder when it’s over?”

(via fificat)

"Now THAT’S what I call boning!"

(Source: catasters)

"I gotta be honest, this is not a flattering angle for either of you."

"What is the ‘thrust of the loins’ the author keeps mentioning?  What does it mean?”

newyorker:

Cartoon of the day. Don’t forget to enter this week’s caption contest: http://nyr.kr/r46had

"Better things where people don’t do that at 3 in the afternoon in the living room."

migueld:

OHHHH NO.

"I seriously cannot believe they are filming this shit."

(Source: yandrd)

"I don’t think it’s supposed to smell like that."

(via catsbeaversandducks)

"Did you finish up writing their application for the Sue Johanson show yet? We’ve gotta get them help whether they like it or not."