"Is it safe to come out yet?"

"Please tell me you two are just planking."

"I could have gone my whole nine lives without learning what tea-bagging is…especially from this angle."

(Source: pinterest.com, via catsbeaversandducks)

"Eeeuuuuugggghhh…"

(via catsbeaversandducks)

"MY HEART. No, no, wait, MY SOUL. MY SOUL WILL NEVER RECOVER FROM SEEING YOU LIKE THIS. And also my appetite."

"Cockblocked!"

"Thank god we have a full supply of Clorox wipes. I’m going to have to disinfect the whole damn shower…aaaaaaand apparently the sink too now. Great. Just great."

"Betcha thought the office would be empty after business hours, eh? Nobody ever remembers the cleaning crew, huh? Thanks for the peep show!"

"Yeah, man, I agree that Victorian erotica can be very sexy, I’m just saying that it might not be your thing.”

"Look, Adam, I didn’t laugh when it happened to you, so I’d appreciate it if you’d extend the same courtesy to me."

Looks like Maru has been watching you a little too closely.

(Source: vincent-pizza, via maruthecat)

"I’M JUST GONNA LET MYSELF OUT THE SAME WAY I CAME IN OH GOD I PROMISE NEXT TIME TO CALL FIRST."

(via catsbeaversandducks)

"Ughh…how rudimentary. I’m embarrassed for you. Really."

(via tylercoates-deactivated20130905)

"I want to leave the room, but I don’t want to risk opening my eyes and being confronted with that scene again.

Will one of you just tap me on the shoulder when it’s over?”

(via fificat)

"Now THAT’S what I call boning!"

(Source: catasters)